Unknown Insecurities

Lost in a world between You and Me, searching for the truth to set us free. My heart pumps harder as my reflection appears, Just as I’m about to get a glimpse it disappears.

 Lost in a world between You and Me, searching for the right time to set us free.

A wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  I could go on and the titles would never end. 

Is this all to Me.

Lost in a world between You and Me, questioning myself while recovering from a theft whereas the culprit responsible is really Me.   Who am I or am I who You define Me to be. 

Lost in a world between You and Me, no need for the path that will set us free, if I truly don't understand the power I possess just being Me.

Lost in a world between You and Me, locked in a room unable to break free. Searching for an escape that appears nowhere in sight.  Surrounded by closed doors, unbreakable walls, ceilings out of reach but yet ready to fall.  I scream inside with all my might, but only silence heard and no energy to fight.  Each thought of my life seems to cause this space to become extremely tight. 

I can’t find the light. 

The darkness consumes Me. Where are You?  I try once again to fight, causing my already tired body to crash to the cold floor with not enough strength to turn the knob and walk out the door.  Tears running down my face, not understanding how I continue to end up in this place.  

Why can't my mind break free?  

At least long enough to understand why You turned the mirrors  away from Me.

Not able to reach the light within, the darkness consumes Me. 

It takes control. 

 The voices I hear, cry out in desperation for the attention of anyone who may be near but only attention You draw is fear. 

Which readily presents itself.

 Feeling defeated I close my eyes to envision what my life might have been, if only I had not left room  for You and insecurity to creep in, to enter and flow through, defining and designing Me into someone I never wanted to be.

 But is this really Me?

  I open my eyes only to see everything I ever needed  has always been within Me. 
  I open my hands and there lies a set of keys. The keys are labeled with acceptance, self truth, power    and destiny. Everything I need lies within Me.

So to provide clarity “You” is who I use to be and “Me” is who I’ve grown to be ..FREE

Free of feeling unworthy, unwanted, undeserving and unappreciated.

In this walk called life, I’ve learned no one person is exempt from insecurities. 

We just have to learn to love ourselves beyond the insecurities, in order to get pass them.

I've learned in life there are two mirrors. The mirror in the fitting room and the one at home. 

The fitting room mirror is designed to make you look and feel good about what you are seeing. It has the right lighting and tilt to make you look and feel fabulous.  Whereas, the mirror at home tells it like it really is. Lol.  Not to say you don't look fabulous still. It just gives a different view and not the one you received from the fitting room mirror. 

I say this to say, It is easy to perceive yourself as others would have you to do but what do you see within you. Like when you are alone, how do you see yourself? 

I continuously do a self check in the mirror, not just to make sure my beautiful face is still in tack, but to check on my inner self. My heart, my mind, my emotions and my fight. 

  My mirror once displayed reflections of  the depression, low self worth, hurt, pain, brokenness, shattered dreams, broken promises to myself and the ugliness. Instead of facing and addressing these issues I chose to turn my mirrors away from me. If I didn't acknowledge it, I was crazy enough to believe it didn't exist.  It wasn't until I began to see what God had already placed in me, that I started to fight.   God didn't give me any of this. I acquired it through my own negative thinking.  The truth is we are God's handy work, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Eph. 2:10                                       

Life has a way of putting mirrors in front of you when you lest expect it. How do you see yourself?

 My fight isn't completely over but I haven't given up either!  Neither should you!

  Stay Blessed.  

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”  Song of Solomon 4:7