Fear is the False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear is being afraid to let go when you have already been set free. It's kind of like the old slavery movies when the slave is set free but is afraid to leave. He has been beaten down, disrespected and humiliated so much that any other way of life seems unrealistic. He knows in his heart that there is a better life out there and he should take this chance and run like the wind, but his loyalty holds him in place and causes his feet to be unable to take the steps required to meet the path of freedom.  This was once me.  There are plenty of days that I should have ran as fast as I could and never turned back, but I didn't. I saw a fight worth fighting. There was only one problem... I was an army of one. Fighting for a marriage that I seem to be in by myself. It's funny now that I think of it. The marriage certificate stated there were two and the bible states there are three, but in my mind I could only find me.  Never doubting his love it carried me through , even that's funny now because I loved someone else with more love than I had for myself.  Sometimes in life you love others so much that it diminishes the love you had for yourself. You believe if you love a person enough they will love you even more.  Not at all true. I became emotionless, numb to the pain that my heart felt.  How did I allow myself get to this point?   I knew better was outside of the four walls I stood behind, I knew greater was in me. I just could not at that time pull myself out of this emotionless beaten down shell that I reverted to as shelter.  Where did the love for me go and why did I allow it to leave?   I now know " Greater  is He that is in me, than he that is in the World.  Fear is no longer an option.